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Программистский юмор
Here are examples of "Hello World" programs written by people at different stages of their "careers". High School/Jr.High =================== 10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD" 20 END First year in College ===================== program Hello(input, output) begin writeln('Hello World') end. Senior year in College ====================== (defun hello (print (cons 'Hello (list 'World)))) New professional ================ #include <stdio.h> void main(void) { char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"}; int i; for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i) printf("%s", message[i]); printf("\n"); } Seasoned professional ===================== #include <iostream.h> #include <string.h> class string { private: int size; char *ptr; public: string() : size(0), ptr(new char('\0')) {} string(const string &s) : size(s.size) { ptr = new char[size + 1]; strcpy(ptr, s.ptr); } ~string() { delete [] ptr; } friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &); string &operator=(const char *); }; ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s) { return(stream << s.ptr); } string &string::operator=(const char *chrs) { if (this != &chrs) { delete [] ptr; size = strlen(chrs); ptr = new char[size + 1]; strcpy(ptr, chrs); } return(*this); } int main() { string str; str = "Hello World"; cout << str << endl; return(0); } Master Programmer ================= [ uuid(2573F8F4-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820) ] library LHello { // bring in the master library importlib("actimp.tlb"); importlib("actexp.tlb"); // bring in my interfaces #include "pshlo.idl" [ uuid(2573F8F5-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820) ] cotype THello { interface IHello; interface IPersistFile; }; }; [ exe, uuid(2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820) ] module CHelloLib { // some code related header files importheader(<windows.h>); importheader(<ole2.h>); importheader(<except.hxx>); importheader("pshlo.h"); importheader("shlo.hxx"); importheader("mycls.hxx"); // needed typelibs importlib("actimp.tlb"); importlib("actexp.tlb"); importlib("thlo.tlb"); [ uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820), aggregatable ] coclass CHello { cotype THello; }; }; #include "ipfix.hxx" extern HANDLE hEvent; class CHello : public CHelloBase { public: IPFIX(CLSID_CHello); CHello(IUnknown *pUnk); ~CHello(); HRESULT __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString); private: static int cObjRef; }; #include <windows.h> #include <ole2.h> #include <stdio.h> #include <stdlib.h> #include "thlo.h" #include "pshlo.h" #include "shlo.hxx" #include "mycls.hxx" int CHello::cObjRef = 0; CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk) { cObjRef++; return; } HRESULT __stdcall CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString) { printf("%ws\n", pwszString); return(ResultFromScode(S_OK)); } CHello::~CHello(void) { // when the object count goes to zero, stop the server cObjRef--; if( cObjRef == 0 ) PulseEvent(hEvent); return; } #include <windows.h> #include <ole2.h> #include "pshlo.h" #include "shlo.hxx" #include "mycls.hxx" HANDLE hEvent; int _cdecl main( int argc, char * argv[] ) { ULONG ulRef; DWORD dwRegistration; CHelloCF *pCF = new CHelloCF(); hEvent = CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL); // Initialize the OLE libraries CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED); CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF, CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER, REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration); // wait on an event to stop WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE); // revoke and release the class object CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration); ulRef = pCF->Release(); // Tell OLE we are going away. CoUninitialize(); return(0); } extern CLSID CLSID_CHello; extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib; CLSID CLSID_CHello = { /* 2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */ 0x2573F891, 0xCFEE, 0x101A, { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 } }; UUID LIBID_CHelloLib = { /* 2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */ 0x2573F890, 0xCFEE, 0x101A, { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 } }; #include <windows.h> #include <ole2.h> #include <stdlib.h> #include <string.h> #include <stdio.h> #include "pshlo.h" #include "shlo.hxx" #include "clsid.h" int _cdecl main( int argc, char * argv[] ) { HRESULT hRslt; IHello *pHello; ULONG ulCnt; IMoniker * pmk; WCHAR wcsT[_MAX_PATH]; WCHAR wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH]; // get object path wcsPath[0] = '\0'; wcsT[0] = '\0'; if( argc 1) { mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1); wcsupr(wcsPath); } else { fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specified\n"); return(1); } // get print string if(argc 2) mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1); else wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World"); printf("Linking to object %ws\n", wcsPath); printf("Text String %ws\n", wcsT); // Initialize the OLE libraries hRslt = CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED); if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) { hRslt = CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk); if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) hRslt = BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void **)&pHello); if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) { // print a string out pHello->PrintSz(wcsT); Sleep(2000); ulCnt = pHello->Release(); } else printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt); // Tell OLE we are going away. CoUninitialize(); } return(0); } Apprentice Hacker =================== #!/usr/local/bin/perl $msg="Hello, world.\n"; if ($#ARGV >= 0) { while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) { $outfilename = $arg; open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n"; print (FILE $msg); close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n"; } } else { print ($msg); } 1; Experienced Hacker ================== #include <stdio.h> #define S "Hello, World\n" main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);} Seasoned Hacker =============== % cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c % a.out Guru Hacker =========== % cat Hello, world. ^D New Manager =========== 10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD" 20 END Middle Manager ============== mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12 Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello, world."? I need it by tomorrow. ^D Senior Manager ============== % zmail jim I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon. Chief Executive =============== % letter letter: Command not found. % mail To: ^X ^F ^C % help mail help: Command not found. % damn! : Event unrecognized % logout ---------------------------------------------------------------------- THE GREAT WHITE PROGRAMMER How Programmers Hunt Elephants dBASE programmers only hunt elephants at night when no one will notice that they are still using clubs. C programmers refuse to buy rifles off the shelf, preferring to take steel rods and a mobile machine shop to Africa intending to build the perfect rifle for the job from scratch while everyone else bags the elephants. FOXPRO programmers pickup the discarded C programmers rifles every few days which causes them to spend time learning new shooting techniques than the actual hunting of elephants. CLIPPER programmers don't actually hunt elephants, they just buy library after library of elephant parts and then spend years trying to integrate them and resolving conflicts from doing so. PARADOX programmers go to Africa with copies of Hollywood movie scripts about elephant hunting, the reenactment of which they believe will help them catch an elephant. ACCESS programmers zero right in on an elephant right away, even with no prior experience in elephant hunting, and then, impeccably dressed and fully looking the part, get the elephant in their beautifully-mounted scopes, and then realize that other than missing a trigger, they are 99.9% 'there'. RBASE programmers are rarer than elephants. In fact, when an elephant sees an RBASE programmer he considers it his lucky day. VISUAL programmers point at their bullets, point at their rifles, then point at the elephant. This simply amuses the elephants. Rolling over in a fit of laughter the elephant destroys the mouse, the programmer can do nothing but simply watch the elephant walk away. ADA, APL, and FORTRAN programmers are just as fictional as Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. COBOL programmers have too much empathy to hunt another near-extinct species. ASSEMBLY programmers, create their own smaller and faster bread of elephants. \O O/ O o O / O \ Rompez tout!